“I’d stretched it all too thinly…”

 

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I’d stretched it all
too thinly,
once again
become a wraith
inside his memory
a writhe
against the hollow
of his cupped tongue
he’d stopped looking for me
I caught him looking through me,
more than once when
I was nothing more than butter, soft
laved across his toast
I’d stretched it all too thinly,
once again
become attenuated fingers
grasping for a heart

“each time I wake…”

 

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each time I wake
I find that I’ve composed my curves
around the rugged landscape
of how I think your body feels
I furrow deep into you
the way hard rain wears rivulets
into mountainsides
and when I finally realize
that your rigor has fled
with the morning light
blinding my eyes,
I get up
and make the bed

“pressed between the silk…”

pressed between the silk

“it is in the pitch-dark hours…”

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it is in the pitch-dark hours
when no one else can see us
that our broken hearts
bleed out
and blossom
in chrysanthemums of ache

 

(We rarely see a person’s pain behind a smile. And we all carry a memento of it, behind our own.  A friend viewed this earlier and was appalled because she said it looked as if I’d been beaten. That’s my point. But no photographer was harmed, in the shooting of this photograph.)

 

“once, i leapt…”

once, i leapt

“the day he said…”

the day he said

 

( For an incredible friend, whose gentle nudges, are making me fly)

“never one for hearts and roses…”

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never one
for hearts and roses,
i wait for you
through this long night
bound in garlands
of reddened autumn, nearing,
wood smoke in my hair
skin bared and scented
with the air of a river
in flux,
i wait

“I fall in love, infrequently…”

 

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I fall in love, infrequently
but those few hard
and profound descents
have the cinders buried
beneath the skin of my knees
glaring back at me
each time I slip a foot
into a beautiful shoe
or let a man
slip it off.

But despite the scars
and the damage done
I crave the beautiful
and wretched stumble
that brings me so sweetly
and irrevocably, fallen,
to my knees

“tread lightly, he begged…”

tread lightly, he begged

“tangled up in you…”

tangled up in you1

“I lie here in this water…”

 

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I lie here in this water
giving birth to something
even I
cannot explain
an abstraction
of another me
growing
pressing
against my gut
the way the belly
of the moon
reshapes the curves
of time

before long,
it will split me
wide
and with its
freedom,
leave me ripe
and opened

“I wake at 3 am…”

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I wake at 3 am
tangled up in sheets
that smell of lavender
and books,
my eye
still pressed
to the lens
and all I can see
in this dead hour light
is the moon
and the curves
of our fusion,
blurred
he comes,
then goes,
so silently
so sweetly
that if not for the lavender,
I would swear he was a haint

“lust-raked skin…”

lust raked skin

“counting to 100…”

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“palms cupped…”

palms cupped

“i’d forgotten how slender, her fingers…”

i'd forgotten how slender

“we were three…”

BeFunky_null_2.jpg 3we were three
mad women
on a mountaintop
bleach-boned
incandescently
mad
coiling poems
round the belly
of the moon
inexorably
beautifully
mad,
we three

 

This is for my dear friends @cat_cat and @myearthgirl. Last year, we spent some time together on a mountaintop and this is my thank you to them, for teaching me the joy of being a mad woman, beautifully and how to wear a moustache, with style.

“the slow birth…”

the slow birth

“I Thought of You Today…”

I thought of you today

I thought of you today
I felt that amaranthine rush
and after all this time
the flow began
the slow bleed-out
of good intentions
I missed your eager thrusts
into my mind,
the physicality
of your self-imposed distance,
I missed the arch of  your silence
against my pulse

I wanted you
to be watching
from another room,
your eyes in rapt regard
I wanted you to see me bleed,
just once

“how long shall I carry these words…”

 

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How long shall I carry these words
in my mouth
these profane and bitter proclamations
thrusting alongside others,
the ambrosial ones
hived in wildflower honey

How will they fall
when these budded lips
bloom
will they eject in a spray
of search and destroy
or trickle out
soaked in vengeful intent

I think I will chew on them
just a little while longer
savor them, suck the venom
right out
then swallow them, deep
their release, hurting no one
but me

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